geektherapy

The Power of a Podcast

February 24, 2020 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Power of words — Sometimes therapists find the right words to give.

When I sit with a client in my office, I try to remain aware of the power that the words I use can have. The most common way of practicing therapy is in a one-on-one setting. This allows me to tailor my words to the person in the chair across from me. I can craft words that I feel will best help that other person take in the information and hear what they need to hear to heal. Clients feel like I’m speaking to them and their needs alone. It’s not always easy, but it’s effective. If I’m reckless, my words have the power to push people further from their best self. If I’m able to pinpoint the correct thing to say, I can help them start to move past their “stuff.”

Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.
Albus Dumbledore

Dumbledore’s words sit heavy on my shoulders when I sit down to record an episode of GT Radio or The Happiest Pod on Earth. As a therapist, I understand the power of words. As a podcaster I do too. Podcasters can’t tailor their words to each listener. Whether a podcast has 5 listeners, or 5k listeners, odds are that each listener’s experience is different. That makes it hard to reach everyone.

Podcasters go it alone without feedback.

Pleasing everyone isn’t possible. I get that. If I get people thinking/talking, that’s great. Sometimes the disagreements fuel the best discussions. I try my best and hope that my words land well with whoever’s listening, and that I don’t do harm. Ultimately, I hope I can reach someone and help make them feel seen. Whenever I get a note that something I said was impactful, it makes my heart swell to know something I said landed well with someone. There are other podcasters that feel the same out there too.

Murder has…the power to heal?

True crime is very hot and popular right now. Documentaries, reenactment shows, books, subscriptions crates, and podcasts about the darker side of our world abound. I’ve discussed before how the horror genre can allow us to explore our fear in a safe way. True crime is different. In horror, the things that go bump in the night aren’t real. When we experience those stories, we know that a werewolf isn’t going to eat us or a demon isn’t going to possess us. With true crime…the stories are real. Real terror, trauma, and tragedy. So what can be positive or healing about that?

One podcast in particular comes to mind when I try to explain this: My Favorite Murder.

Image via My Favorite Murder

Murderinos unite!

The hosts of My Favorite Murder, Karen and Georgia, have a way with words for larger audiences that is hard to come even close to. Their episodes are very conversational because they record with each other in Georgia’s living room, and it has a way of making each listener feel like they’re in the room with them. Followed by thousands of murderinos (what they call their listeners), they say what they’re going to say, without trying to please everyone and doing little fact checking. What puts them apart is their willingness to admit they’re wrong.

They often have a “corrections corner” in which they admit where they’ve screwed up in past episodes. The duo admit their faults and apologize to their fans. They use humor to talk about the tough stuff (which, admittedly is their entire podcast). They’re also unabashedly honest about their mental health struggles. Georgia talks about her depression and anxiety, and going to therapy before recording on the regular, and Karen discusses her struggles with drug and alcohol use. They discuss it in a lighthearted, funny, and honest way. Friends of mine and clients alike have said they were inspired to get help and go to therapy because of listening to the show.

Murderinos don’t have to hide their interests and hobbies anymore. They’ve found their people. Karen and Georgia have built a supportive, creative, caring community out of something that scares off many people even by mentioning the title of the show. They’re saving lives, whether they know it or not.

Light from the dark

My Favorite Murder shines a light on the scary stuff, in order to help people cope with the knowledge that there is a boogey man out there. Karen and Georgia crack jokes and throw out one liners that are actually pretty good advice. “Lock your fucking doors.” “Fuck politeness.” “Call your dad, you’re in a cult.” These lines are humorous but real. Their sign off for the show “Stay sexy, don’t get murdered” is a manta for many murderinos, who’ve had it tattooed on their bodies. They also manage to be respectful of the dead, even when making light of the horrors they went through. It’s hard to imagine, but it’s definitely worth listening to.

I’m only just now finishing up the first year of the show. I can’t wait to binge the 150+ more episodes I have to hear and belly laugh to some really messed up humor.

Queer Comics Expo: Fierce and Fabulous Heroes Unite

June 23, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

It’s pride month everyone! Which means lots of gays, lots of partying, lots of cultural events, and lots of LGBT blog posts. It just so happens that there’s been lots of awesome geeky queer things going on lately that I’ve been meaning to write about, so pride month here we come! (Even if it is almost over…)

June 8th I had the experience of volunteering at the first annual Queer Comics Expo at the Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco. It was held as a part of the Queer Cultural Center’s National Queer Arts Festival. That’s a lot of queerness.

(Image via Cartoon Art Museum)

The event included appearances by artists such as Tyler Cohen, Alex Woolfson, Jon Macy, Agnes Czaja, and was headlined by Ed Luce (who’s book, Wuvable Oaf was just picked up by publisher Fantagraphics). Prism Comics, Northwest Press and Geeks OUT also all had booths with lots of queer friendly merchandise. It was a small event but definitely a good start for its first year, and it pulled a larger crowd than originally expected, with definite room for growth.

The expo also included some programming including one panel moderated by Northwest Press’ Zan Christensen which discussed where queer comics are headed, two life drawing sessions with models dressed as Cyclops and Mystique from X-Men, and a screening of DATING SUCKS: A Genderqueer Misadventure by Sam Berliner.

For the size of the event, I feel like it was the right amount of programming and offered unique experiences. Most conventions I’ve been to haven’t offered models for life drawing, how about you?

I had the chance to talk to the organizers, Nina Kester and Heather Plunkett. Both seemed excited about the number of attendees and the overall vibe of the event. Plunkett, who runs the Cartoon Art Museum’s bookstore said that everyone seemed happy to be there and so appreciative that someone would put on an event like this.

I have my own feelings about what makes inclusive events like this important, but I wanted to ask the organizers why they wanted to create a queer friendly comics event. Kester told me, “Look around. All of these people feel comfortable being who they are. Someone can ask a male model to do a pin up pose usually reserved for female models and no one judges. In fact the male model enjoyed the pin up pose better. We can just be us.”

Being able to feel safe in being who you are is important for mental health. Because of this, having a space where you can be queer and like comics is double important, due to being looked down upon from both sides. That being said, the number of people in this community are more than I would have guessed, which is awesome! More queer comic creators and more queer comic readers means more people to connect with each other and feel as if they aren’t alone. And connectedness is also another key to mental health.

From what I could tell everyone was happy with the event, attendees, exhibitors, volunteers and organizers alike. The event went off without a hitch with only 2 months of planning and 3 volunteers on site for the day. With a year to plan, and more creators asking about tables in the future, just imagine what they can do next year.

And they are definitely planning on a next year.

Wonder Con recap!

April 28, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Sorry for the lack of post last week. Wonder Con kicked my butt. I feel like I’ve been sleepwalking the past week.

(Image via Dark Horse Adaptations)

Speaking of Wonder Con, it was an action filled, jam packed weekend. I don’t have much information to report back, but hopefully my ramblings about the experience will do.

This was the first time I had been to Wonder Con since it was in San Francisco. It was really busy. More so than when it was up here in the Bay Area, I think, but I can’t be really sure since it’s a totally different space. Even Easter Sunday was packed! Definitely not San Diego sized, but that’s ok. Especially since I don’t do well in large crowds.

For the most part, I spent my time wandering around and catching up with Josué Cardona. It was great to talk to a colleague who not only tolerates or accepts my views on using nerdy interests in therapy, but who does it himself. He is my self-proclaimed #1 fan. I’m sure my fiance would take issue with that. Regardless, it is nice to know that my writing is appreciated. I definitely came home after spending the weekend chatting and planning with a renewed desire to write and dive head first into the geek world…just as soon as I’d had some time to sleep. Like a week. Or a month.

I did go to a few awesome panels during the con! The first was a panel on the Psychology of Cult TV. Josué, Dr. Travis Langley, Elizabeth Ann, and Dr. Janina Scarlet discussed how the shows that we love bring us together as a community and can actually help us. Whether we love Buffy, Dr. Who, Firefly, or Sherlock, we are able to connect with one or more of the characters and feel like we aren’t alone. They asked the audience if they had ever seen something on a show and felt as though they were going through the same thing. Many people raised their hands. In my opinion, the take away from the panel was that regardless of what show you like, if it makes you feel better, and gives you someone to connect with, don’t let someone make you feel bad for watching.

(Image via Prism Comics)

Saturday was a late night. I went to a panel called “Wild Queer Women of the Web”. Essentially it was a discussion about queer webcomics from a female perspective. The consensus among the panelists was that writing webcomics has an advantage over ink and paper publishing mainly because no one can tell you what you can and cannot make. Therapeutic Code and Geek Therapy got plugged, mainly because my fabulous fiance made the announcement that she will be collaborating with Josué on a comic in the future. The crowd (and even the panelists) seemed excited about the concept of Geek Therapy, so even if it was shameless, the plug was worth it!

During the day, we picked up a stuffed Herobear (which you can expect a post about later on), who I have decided needs to travel with me and take pictures everywhere. That way he can save geeks everywhere! He made a cameo at the webcomics panel, but the highlight of his night was hanging out with the fish at the Rainforest Cafe.

The last panel I went to was a look at Batgirl called “Batgirl Begins Again”. Dr. Travis Langely led a discussion with Gail Simone and Dr. Andrea Letamendi on Batgirl, her past, her present, and where she might go in the future. I loved the panel, and it made me want to go out and read more Batgirl comics. However, I took issue with how often the words “victim” and “victimization” were used.

It’s a pet peeve of mine, I understand, but there is a method to my madness. To me, the word victimization puts a judgement on the person involved, not the event. Survivors are those who have suffered through events and lived. Victims are those who have died. The words trauma and traumatization put the focus on the even, rather than the person involved, which allows for those who have been through a trauma to see themselves as a survivor.

Putting that aside, I thought it was an insightful look at how mental health can play an important role in comics. Gail Simone did her research, and I appreciate that. It’s a responsible move, and I hope that in the future more writers can be as forward thinking as her. I even heard her use the word trauma instead of victim a few times.

I hope my rundown of the weekend wasn’t too boring. The semester is ending and I will be back up to writing snuff soon! I have a lot of awesome things to write about as soon as I have time. In the meantime, I leave you with this awesome evil Delsin Rowe (from InFamous: Second Son) cosplay!

Geeks: Adolescents Trapped in Adult Bodies?

February 17, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Another week, another discussion around the spiderweb of geekiness that has come up in my classes.

This semester I’m taking Group Psychotherapy, and our first assignment was to come up with what we consider our cultural identity and have it ready for a group discussion in class. Now, I know the go to for most people is their ethnic culture. I also know (as someone brought up in class) that most white people tend to identify with some other group (religions, hobbies, interests, professions, etc.) rather than an ethnic group as a culture. I was upset when my classmate pointed this fact out, because to me it implies that all of those other things that people identify aren’t a “real” culture and that the only “real” culture is ethnicity.

(Image via University of Texas)

On the other hand, I completely fell into the stereotype she just described. Given the assignment to identify and discuss my culture, I scrambled to pull together anything I could that would sound acceptable. Do I talk about my family being German? No…aside from a few traditions handed down, I don’t really identify as German, and my family is from all over Europe anyway. What the hell was I going to do?

I could out myself in class and talk about gay culture…What about geek culture? I could talk about that. But how is that going to look up against my classmates discussing the struggles of African Americans, or Latin cultures and their pulling together as families in tough times? Would it be disrespectful?

I’ll be honest, up until it was my turn to talk, I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to say. Luckily, one of my classmates brought up Anime as a culture, and I decided to just go with it.

(Image via Muling)

I brought up geek culture and what that means to me. That it means being who I am, enjoying what I do, and loving what I love, regardless of what people may think.

As far as I can tell, there were no negative reactions to what I was saying. My professor smiled genuinely when I mentioned Therapeutic Code and the geek therapy movement. The classmates who spoke up seemed interested and asked questions. One classmate made a comment that made me think, though.

She asked me if I identify with adolescent culture because I identify so much with video games, comic books, cartoons, young adult movies, etc. In the moment, I kind of laughed and said that I guess I never really grew out of my adolescence. Now that I think about it, I wish I had told her no.

Just because someone likes geeky things, or things that teenagers typically like, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t an adult and identify with “adult” culture as well. (What the heck is adult culture anyway?)

So I like to play Pokemon and watch Twilight and Hunger Games in my spare time. I also work 40 hours a week, pay my rent, take my car to the shop, make my own doctor’s appointments, and hold down a household with my fiance. I’m 30 years old, I’m getting married next year, and I’m on my way to a solid career. So what if I share the same dress, slang, and interests as a 15 year old boy?

(Image via Fanpop)

I don’t mean it in an argumentative way. I’m not upset at my classmate for making assumptions. I’m more upset at myself for not using her question as a way of showing my classmates a different point of view.

The jocks and drama kids from high school grow up to be athletes and actors. Sometimes they end up as professionals, sometimes they pursue it as a full time hobby. We never ask them if they still identify with adolescent culture or if they haven’t grown up. We worship them for their talents. Yet the geeks of high school are on the bottom of the totem pole throughout life.

If we can change how people see geeky hobbies, we can help geeks everywhere feel more confident and comfortable with themselves. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but it’s important for geeks to have a safe space to be themselves and let loose about what they love. It’s especially important when they’re in the room with their therapist.

Which is why I wish I had said something in class with a room full of future clinicians. They are the future of therapy, and I hope that if the topic comes up again I can bring attention to this concept.

I do have to say that my professor made a good point at the end of my turn speaking. She said that my young clients probably connect with me well, not necessarily because of my cultural identification, but because I bring myself to the session. I am me, and I don’t care who knows.

In a way, she said part of what I wish I had said.

That it is important to be who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin.

(Image via TOTAL Nigeria)

Are Kids and Adults So Different?

February 10, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

To my surprise, the geek therapy concepts have made their way into my classes over the past couple of weeks. It’s really exciting, and has started down a path toward other, related ideas. Or maybe it’s more like a spiderweb of ideas. My mind has been a bit all over the place lately.

(Image via SuperHeroHype via CBR)

In any case, the lecture in many of my classes has started me thinking, and I’d like to focus on one of those lectures today. Hopefully later this week I will be able to deliver another tidbit of wisdom from school, if life doesn’t throw me anymore virus or paperwork pile shaped curveballs.

The first geeky reference I’d like to look at came during my Treatment of Children and Adolescents course. Of course that’s where we’d be talking about geeky stuff, right? A lot of what we consider a part of geek culture stems from things we loved in childhood. Games, superheroes, cartoons, action figures, movies, etc. For the most part, these were our relevant interests back then.

When discussing how to gather information when interviewing a child or adolescent, my professor said that one of the best things we can do as clinicians is to make observations about the client’s interests. If a kid is wearing a Batman shirt, ask her about Batman. If they’re wearing a Pokemon backpack, find out about their favorite Pokemon.

The other point he brought up is that sometimes, the best question to ask is “What was the last movie you saw?” Pop culture influences our lives in ways we don’t even notice, and our opinions and beliefs influence the pop culture we consume. My professor’s follow up to the movie question was that the Hunger Games was very big in finding out how his clients felt about certain issues and what their values are.

Maybe someone loves Peeta because he’s a good friend, Gale because he stands up for the people, or Katniss because she would do anything for her family. Maybe they don’t like Haymitch because he’s a drunk, or the people of the Capitol because they’re clueless. Somewhere in there, there is so much material for discussion of what is important to the client. Maybe the actors are just hot, or maybe what the character stands for is the real drive behind the fandom. Whatever the case, discussing favorite characters is also important.

The Hunger Games character alignment chart

(Image via MapleNet)

What my professor was discussing is important in working with youth. I would go further and say that it is important to talk about these things with our clients no matter what the age.

People of all ages consume pop culture, not just those who are under the age of 20. Growing up to develop advanced logic and cognitive skills doesn’t exclude us from enjoying a movie about superheroes, a TV show about time lords, or a book about wizards.

(via Pinterest)

I understand that some of the approaches used with adults don’t work with children. Developmentally, they don’t have the skills to think about behavior, feelings, and thought in that way. Children hide their values, issues, motivations, and aspirations because of a developmental inability to express them. Which is exactly why we use play therapy. Those things come out normally through what children choose to play with, how they choose to play with those things, and what they choose to watch.

Adults do the same thing, and so in some ways, we can use the same approach. Obviously some adults may object to playing with a dollhouse or building blocks, but there are other ways to gain the same types of information.

We can still ask an adult what the last movie they saw was. We can ask them about why they like the movie, who their favorite characters are, and what they didn’t like. Asking someone what the last book they read or what their favorite book is could also be informative. Maybe it was Steve Jobs’ biography, or maybe it was a trashy romance novel, or a detective story. Each of those says different things about the person reading them and what they value.

Even just having interesting decor in the office could prove illuminating. If there are action figures on the shelves, a few posters on the walls, a video game system and a shelf of games, and a wall of books, a lot can be said about what draws the client’s attention. Do they comment on the video games? Do they admire an X-Men poster? Do they scoff at your Star Wars figures? What is said is important, but so is the object of their focus.

No matter what age my client is, I would hope to show interest in what they’re interested in. From asking a kid about their Batman shirt to having an office lined with conversational matter, the leap isn’t so great as it might seem.

People need to know their therapists are interested in them, their lives, and what they enjoy. And their therapists need to realized that knowing about these things can help them form a bigger picture of who their client is and what makes them tick.

As another professor of mine once told me, it’s all grist for the mill.

Discovered new article: Gaming Improves Mood (900 exp gained)

September 6, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Beyond the beat-em-up: video games are good for young people

There’s an emerging body of research focusing on the potential positive influences of video games. – Rebecca Pollard

Research and media attention has usually focused on possible negative impacts of video games. But a clear case to support such links is yet to emerge and even people who argue that video games have a negative impact acknowledge that any such effect size is relatively small.

Now, there’s an emerging body of research focusing on the potential positive influences of video games.

(Continue reading the full article at The Conversation: here)