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Therapeutic Code

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coping skills

Breaking the Depression Cycle One Turn at a Time

December 23, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Time for a little bit of self-disclosure. I know, I know, in the therapy world self-disclosure is something that is looked down upon in many circles. It’s ok though! None of you reading this are my clients, and if any of my clients, or future clients, care enough to hunt me down on the internet, I hope whatever they find is useful to them. Personally, I find a little bit of self-disclosure comforting and healing.

My intent here is to be real, honest, and helpful. Not to damage any potential therapeutic relationships.

Now that I have properly disclaimer-ed myself…on to the real topic:

Depression can be debilitating at times. You feel like the world is a bad place, you’re a bad person, nothing will change it, and you just want to lay in bed and do nothing. So you do.

Throw anxiety into the mix and then you’re worried about the fact that you should be doing something, that something bad is going to happen because you aren’t doing something, and the overwhelming sense of doom immobilizes you even more.

Then the depression reminds you how bad of a person you are for not doing anything.

Your mind forces you into lockdown.

(Image by Allie Brosh via Hyperbole and a Half)

I know this, because from time to time, I find myself in a place just like that. Incidents like this are much fewer and far between, but they do happen still. All those awesome things I get excited about?  Yeah…they get pushed out of view until the depression/anxiety cycle ends.

That cycle can go on for a long time (or for what seems like forever), unless something derails it.

For me, many of the times, it’s games that are the switch point.

Not necessarily video games (although, sometimes this is the case). Mostly, board games are what really help. In particular, the social component of board games are the key.

Here’s an example: I was in one of those debilitating, helplessness inducing funks a few months ago. I would not get off of the couch. Anything my fiance suggested would receive a grumbled “no” in response. And she suggested some awesome stuff…video games, movies, comics to read, going for a walk in the neighborhood. Nothing sounded enticing to me.

Finally, she forced me to text my friend to come over and play some board games we had just bought. I did, and he was at my place in less than half an hour (it takes little to convince him to come play games).

The amazing thing was, I pretty much instantly started to feel better. I was laughing, and smiling, and trying to win, whereas an hour earlier I couldn’t even picture those things happening. The games we played forced me to be social, and forced me out of the seemingly endless cycle of “I don’t want to be doing anything/You should be doing something/You’re bad for not doing anything”.

I have other friends with the same issues with depression. They use gaming (both video games and board games) to prevent the depression from sinking in, and also to fight their way out of it.

I think the main reason that this works (at least for me) is that it forces me to be social and converse about something that isn’t how miserable I feel. Much like a paramedic asking questions to distract their patient from the pain they’re feeling, having to explain a game or talk about setting up a game forces someone to ignore the depression and anxiety.

Once the distraction has set in, then the act of playing the game can help alleviate the emotional distress itself. Kind of like the pain killers given to the distracted patient in the earlier analogy.

Regardless of how it works, it works. I may need a little nudging to get me moving toward having friends over for games, but it definitely makes it easier to work through the depression and anxiety.

People who suffer from depression often times don’t find their normal interests enjoyable. As clinicians, perhaps we should be trying to find ways to make those interests more palatable during a depressive episode. Because often times a person’s interests can help them feel better, if they can get past the feelings of stagnation and disinterest.

Perhaps even playing games with a client during a session might help them pull out of a funk.

So the next time your client (or you, yourself) are feeling down…if gaming is usually something they find enjoyable, pull out a copy of a game they like and see if it helps. It can’t hurt…and it’ll probably be fun.

I bet it’ll make a difference, too.

The Results Are In!

December 16, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Last week, I asked everyone to take a short survey for a project of mine on video games and coping. Now that I’ve survived writing my paper, it’s time to let you all know how it turned out.

I should probably start with a simple breakdown. Of 13 respondents:

  • 31% were male / 69% female
  • 8% were aged 18-14 / 38% 25-30 / 23% 31-40 / 31% were over 40
  • No one under the age of 18 responded
  • 23% played <1 hour a week / 8% played 2-5 hours / 38% played 6-9 hours / 31% played over 10 hours a week

I find it very interesting that society views gamers as adolescent boys…and yet, the majority of my respondents were women and over 30. This is a small sample…made up of my friends and readers…so it’s not really reliable, but still. It’s interesting.

girl_gamer

(Image via Gamer Limit)

Looking at the results, it seems as though many people use video games to deal with stress (not surprising, given the sample). Most respondents felt some or a lot of discomfort before playing games. Afterward, the majority felt none or little. When I looked at the individual responses of those who said they had a lot of discomfort before playing, their level of discomfort moved to a little or none after gaming. 

The interesting part is that most people who took my survey did not feel overwhelmed emotionally, and they did not report having a hard time dealing with emotional discomfort. This could possibly be because they have identified gaming as a coping strategy, and use it to deal with their emotional discomfort before it gets out of hand.

Everyone who took the survey gave positive responses to video games (it makes sense..since all of the people who took the survey are either reading a geek blog or are my friends). All of the responses to the item “I find playing video games enjoyable” gave a response of agree or strongly agree. Most stated that they felt better emotionally after playing video games, and that they feel comfortable while playing video games. Many stated that they even felt energized after playing video games. Gaming with friends and in-game accomplishments also seemed to generate a strong, positive response. 

Women reported more stress before a gaming session, and seemed to have a stronger coping response to games than men did.

People who played more hours of games a week (6-9 or 10+) had a stronger coping response to gaming as well, and had more positive responses to the questions about gaming making them feel better, energized, or accomplished.

Those who had some or a lot of stress before a gaming session were more likely to feel overwhelmed emotionally, have a hard time dealing with emotional discomfort, and to feel misunderstood.  They were also the most likely to have a significant decrease in discomfort level after gaming.

4 Relaxing Video Games That Will Soothe Your Soul

(Image via Make Use Of)

Something I found surprising was the level of emotional discomfort during a gaming session. Most people indicated little discomfort, and a few reported some. I was expecting less. A teenage client of mine and I were on an outing and my project came up. He had the perfect explanation for this data. “It don’t work when you’re losing!”

I should listen to his wisdom more often.

I’m not a researcher. I hate crunching numbers and creating surveys. But because I was given the freedom to pick a topic I found interesting…it was more enjoyable.

If anyone wants to run this study for real…lemme know and you can have it. I, however, will be staying away from research now that this class is over and done with.

I’d much rather be helping others use games to cope….and using them myself.

I think it’s time for some WoW…

World-of-WarCraft-Mists-of-Pandaria-2

(Image via Digital Trends)

Coping with Games?

December 5, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Ok…so this week is most definitely a shameless plug. The end of the semester is upon me, therefore…final projects are in season. And I have one I need some serious help with.

I know, I know…I suck you in with a title that makes you think I’m posting about a study I found…then I ask you for something. But here’s the fun part! I need help running a study on coping and video games!

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01298/computergames_1298851c.jpg

(Image via The Telegraph)

It’s a simple 20 question survey for me to explore survey building and data analysis. It’s not a real research study…and its results won’t be published anywhere…other than maybe this blog. For my clinician readers…don’t judge my survey design skills. This is my first go around.

When I was given the assignment, I knew I wanted to create a survey having to do with geek therapy. I know I use video games to cope a lot, so I figured I would see how many others do too.

You can find my Qualtrics survey here. I would really appreciate some help with this project…it will only take you a few minutes, and you’d be helping out a stressed out grad student! I only need 10 responses, but more would be great!

I can’t promise how valid my results will be. Or that the survey doesn’t suck. Or that you won’t be eaten by zombies.

http://nazrinoor.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/2003965976.jpg

(Image via Trender Bender)

But I can promise that I will be grateful, and that I will have more time for better blog posts…that aren’t shameless plugs.

If you missed the link earlier, here’s the url: https://hnu.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_4NNsAAVPoCBfw8t

Thanks everyone!

5 Geeky Deals to Help You Cope With the Holidays

December 2, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Thanksgiving and Black Friday (it’s a weekend now?) are over and we have all had a taste of our crazy families and crazy sales. With that over and done with, we can now move on to look forward to the holidays…which leads us to more time dealing with our crazy families…and more crazy sales.

Because today is Cyber Monday I thought I would bring you all a short list of awesome deals to help the nerds in our lives (or ourselves) escape from the anxiety provoking days to come.

1. Steam Autumn Sale

http://cdn.segmentnext.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/SteamAutumnSale2013.jpg

(Image via Steam)

For your gamer friends, the Steam Autumn Sale is going on until tomorrow, with new deals every day. There’s a little something for everyone, with many popular games dropping in price by 60%. The Skyrim Legendary Edition is only $35.99 and Civilization 5 is $7.49.

Personally, I’ve been playing Borderlands 2 like crazy with my roommate, and wanted to make sure my fiance could join in on the fun. So I bought it for her for Hannukah ($7.49)….and the DLC for myself for dirt cheap.

Playing games is a great way to escape into another reality…one in which the holidays may not exist. Yay Steam Sale!

2. Comixology

image

(Image via Comixology)

Comic loving geeks will love this deal, especially if they are of the DC fan variety! Comixology brought us comics on our phones and tablets, so of course they would get in on the Cyber Monday train! Their deal for the day is New 52 graphic novels collections for $4.99. I may have to take this time to get into Superman or catch up on some Batman lore.

I wonder how they would deal with being trampled at a Black Friday Sale…

3. Legend of Korra Blu-ray

image

(Image via Amazon)

Amazon has had some amazing deals for Black Friday, and they’re keeping it steady with Cyber Monday. Just shop around for a bit if you’re looking for ideas. The one thing I wanted to bring your attention is the Legend of Korra Book One Blu-ray set.

I was upset when I missed out on the premiere of the show, so I was excited to see that I now have a chance to catch up…for under $20! Bam! That went on my Amazon wishlist fast.

I love to binge watch shows in order to distract myself from anxiety provoking things. Dealing with others’ problems can help you relax…and become more ready to tackle your own.

4. X-Box Live Gold Membership

Larger Front

(Image via Best Buy)

Normally a year X-Box Live subscription costs $79.99. Best Buy has dropped the price for Cyber Monday to $59.99, making it that much easier to play online with friends, or call strangers names. Better you fight with them, than your family, right?

5. iBUYPOWER Desktop and Laptop Deals

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/84/86/04/00/0084860400646_500X500.jpg

(Image via iBUYPOWER)

iBUYPOWER makes some insanely good gaming towers and laptops. I used to have a desktop, which lasted me until I didn’t have room for it anymore. It was easily upgradable, and high powered.

Currently, I use one of their laptops (which I am using to write this post!) and I’m glad I chose them. I can handle most games at high quality, and the ones I can’t still look beautiful. On top of that, many of their models include features such as a fingerprint scanner.

What does this have to do with deals? On any given day, they have great deals (my laptop came with a free memory upgrade, laptop case, gaming mouse, and gaming headset). For Cyber Monday, I feel as though they’ve pulled out the stops.

Many models are at reduced price, but the free upgrades are killer. Upgrade a 1 terrabyte hard drive to 2 terrabytes for free. Free gaming headset. Free upgrade to Blu-ray reader from a DVDRW drive. Oh, and did I mention free shipping on laptops?

Hopefully your friends and family will understand not seeing you for a month because of your new toy.

The holidays can be tricky. They bring out the best and the worst of us. Luckily, nerds have plenty of outlets to distract themselves. I hope this list helps you find something new to use to de-stress.

Thor as Therapy, Who Would’ve thought? (Spoiler free)

November 11, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Over the weekend, I had the chance to see Thor: The Dark World (yeah, me and a few million other people). The movie was pretty awesome, but what made the experience even more powerful for me was the opportunity I had to see it with one of my young clients.

http://sciencefiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Thor-Dark-World.png

(image via sciencefiction.com)

I’m a behavior specialist, so I work with some intense youth. The young man I took with me to see the movie has a tough exterior to those who don’t really know him, but he’s a big teddy bear.

He’s 15, hard headed, listens to a lot of hardcore hip-hop, swears like a sailor, quick to anger, and has a hard time controlling himself. He’s also a huge geek, and asks me what the coolest thing I saw was every time I come back from a convention.

Comics, video games and fantasy are this kid’s motivation. They’re what gets him going in the morning. He has done nothing but talk about wanting to see Thor with me for months.

Being a behavior specialist, I had to make him earn a trip to the movies with me. Lately he’s been having a problem with being disrespectful when an adult asks him to do something or tells him something he doesn’t want to hear. 3 or 4 times a day he curses someone out.

So I made a behavior contract with him. If he could make it 5 out of 7 days without being disrespectful, we would go to the movie. If he could make it 5 days straight, we would go opening weekend.

This kid surprised everyone and made it in the first 5 days.

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/screencrush.com/files/2013/04/thor-2-the-dark-world-photos-2.jpg

(image via screencrush)

So I got up and went to work on a 3 day weekend, to see a movie that I wanted to see, but wasn’t on my priority list. And I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.

Because I’m not the biggest Thor fan, I had no idea what was going on other than what I learned from the first Thor and Avengers movies. But that didn’t matter. I got excited because he was excited.

Watching him clap out of excitement and sit on the edge of his seat was worth getting up early on my day off. He kept asking me questions about who certain people were…and I had no idea, but we later figured it out together.

I guess my main point is, that he felt comfortable being himself with me. This is a kid that acts tough and fights other kids…and he was able to let down his guard to be a kid in a superhero movie.

Can we as clinicians provide anything more important to a client than to allow them to let down their guard and be themselves? I don’t think so.

This boy’s therapists don’t really get the superhero thing, but I do. Maybe that’s why he likes talking to me. Having that connection and not feeling judged can be major, especially for an adolescent trying to figure out his place in the world.

On the drive to the movie, he just wanted to listen to music loudly and not talk. On the way home…he turned my stereo down and would not shut up! He kept going on and on about different plot points. How I called them, or how he and I were both totally surprised by certain events.

http://static.hypable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/thor-2-images-7.jpg

(image via Hypable)

We were also able to use the movie to talk about his feelings about what happened. It was a safe space (because it was about Thor and Loki and Odin, not him) to explore how he felt about betrayal, honor, family, and values. I doubt he realized that we were talking about his values…but it was an important conversation all the same, and it allowed him to open up.

Since I was an adult, he expected me to know everything about the world and the characters, which I didn’t. So as I said earlier, we worked together to figure things out. This gave him an experience of an adult being real, honest, and imperfect with him. And also the experience of those things being okay.

I think that the most important take away from my therapeutic Thor experience (other than the plastic Thor figurine he gave me from his cup) would be that a connection can be made, even if the interests are not the same.

Thor is probably my least favorite of the Avengers. But I really wanted to see this movie with this boy because it was something that made him happy. I was able to open up my mind to new things and see things through his eyes. He felt seen. He felt that he had made a connection. And he felt that someone else (an adult, nonetheless) understood why he was passionate about this character.

I can’t think of a better way to spend my weekend.

How to Pass the Jedi Trials (or Successfully Turn 30)

September 26, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Everyone complains about getting older. I don’t think that it’s getting older that sucks, but that it’s feeling older that sucks.

Monday was my 30th birthday. For years I have been dreading this day. I started getting anxious around when I hit 25, because I was no longer in that 18-24 age bracket, but was now in the 25-33 one.

Every birthday has been another reminder that I was that much closer to 30. My best friend is 5 years younger than me, and loves to tease me. So her telling me how old I am at every opportunity has not helped the situation. The anxiety just grew and grew.

image

(Image via Candorville)

On top of that, every year I get anxious about what plans to make for my birthday. Do I just hang at home with the roommate? Do I go out to dinner with family? Do I have a party? Every year I seem to make the wrong decision and I regret the choice I made (at least partly) the next day.

So this year, the anxiety was starting to get overwhelming. 30 is a big day to plan. I just didn’t want a lame 30th birthday. Good thing the problem was taken off my hands. My sneaky fiance planned a surprise party with all of my family and friends. The kicker: it was a Star Wars themed party.

They played the imperial march when I walked in. There were red and black and green and black streamers everywhere, Star Wars banners, Star Wars plates, Darth Vader napkins, food named after Star Wars characters, Star Wars cookies to decorate, a Star Wars themed drink list and a Darth Maul cake to top it all off.

I loved every minute of it. My family and friends played Star Wars themed party games with me. One where we each had a character’s name on our backs and had to ask yes or no questions to figure out who we were. We also played pin the lightsaber on Darth Vader. My fiance even taught me some lightsaber sparring techniques.

It was like being a kid again, which is part of what made it so great. The party was planned to be just like the parties I used to have when I was younger. Themed parties with my family and friends, games, cake, presents and fun. Throw in a little alcohol and it becomes an adult party!

My anxieties about getting older lessened and I was able to relax and enjoy myself. 30 was starting to seem more like just another year. A year that I could manage.

I guess my point is that Star Wars (or anything else for that matter) isn’t just for kids. Kids play sports, read books, play games, watch cartoons, eat junk food, and talk to their friends to relax. So do adults. Coping skills are coping skills. Growing up and taking on more responsibility doesn’t mean we have to give up the things we love.

As long as things are done in moderation, our hobbies and interests are healthy.

My family and friends all chipped in to buy me the Millennium Falcon LEGO set that I’ve been asking for for years. It’s just about the only thing I wanted for my birthday, and it’s freakin’ awesome. I spent the last day of my 20’s building half of it (it has 2 giant instruction manuals and 1325 pieces) and watching the original Star Wars trilogy with my fiance.

image

I also spent the first day of my 30’s working, studying, going to class, and feeling sick from overeating. The symbolism is not lost on me.

But I will always remember how my loved ones embraced me and my passions in order to help me relax and feel young.

(It’s a good thing they did, too…because if my birthday had sucked I just would have force choked them all.)

Before writing this post, my fiance and I got into a debate about why I like Star Wars so much. I said “I just like Star Wars”. She said there was more to it, something deeper, and she’s probably right.

Star Wars is all about transition and change. Luke loses his Aunt and Uncle and goes on an adventure where he finds out so much more about who he is, where he came from, and who he wants to be. There just happens to be robots and lasers and crazy religions that give people superpowers.

When I look at the times I spent watching the movies over and over again, they were all during times of change. Middle school, starting college, and after I finished my undergrad.

Maybe there’s something about Star Wars that helps people cope, other than it just making them feel young. Maybe it’s the story behind the awesome effects and science fiction.

Or maybe its just that it’s Star Wars.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18w38u9ng86nfjpg/k-bigpic.jpg

(Image via io9)

What all-ages geek love has helped you cope and live a healthy life?

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