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Breaking the Depression Cycle One Turn at a Time

December 23, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Time for a little bit of self-disclosure. I know, I know, in the therapy world self-disclosure is something that is looked down upon in many circles. It’s ok though! None of you reading this are my clients, and if any of my clients, or future clients, care enough to hunt me down on the internet, I hope whatever they find is useful to them. Personally, I find a little bit of self-disclosure comforting and healing.

My intent here is to be real, honest, and helpful. Not to damage any potential therapeutic relationships.

Now that I have properly disclaimer-ed myself…on to the real topic:

Depression can be debilitating at times. You feel like the world is a bad place, you’re a bad person, nothing will change it, and you just want to lay in bed and do nothing. So you do.

Throw anxiety into the mix and then you’re worried about the fact that you should be doing something, that something bad is going to happen because you aren’t doing something, and the overwhelming sense of doom immobilizes you even more.

Then the depression reminds you how bad of a person you are for not doing anything.

Your mind forces you into lockdown.

(Image by Allie Brosh via Hyperbole and a Half)

I know this, because from time to time, I find myself in a place just like that. Incidents like this are much fewer and far between, but they do happen still. All those awesome things I get excited about?  Yeah…they get pushed out of view until the depression/anxiety cycle ends.

That cycle can go on for a long time (or for what seems like forever), unless something derails it.

For me, many of the times, it’s games that are the switch point.

Not necessarily video games (although, sometimes this is the case). Mostly, board games are what really help. In particular, the social component of board games are the key.

Here’s an example: I was in one of those debilitating, helplessness inducing funks a few months ago. I would not get off of the couch. Anything my fiance suggested would receive a grumbled “no” in response. And she suggested some awesome stuff…video games, movies, comics to read, going for a walk in the neighborhood. Nothing sounded enticing to me.

Finally, she forced me to text my friend to come over and play some board games we had just bought. I did, and he was at my place in less than half an hour (it takes little to convince him to come play games).

The amazing thing was, I pretty much instantly started to feel better. I was laughing, and smiling, and trying to win, whereas an hour earlier I couldn’t even picture those things happening. The games we played forced me to be social, and forced me out of the seemingly endless cycle of “I don’t want to be doing anything/You should be doing something/You’re bad for not doing anything”.

I have other friends with the same issues with depression. They use gaming (both video games and board games) to prevent the depression from sinking in, and also to fight their way out of it.

I think the main reason that this works (at least for me) is that it forces me to be social and converse about something that isn’t how miserable I feel. Much like a paramedic asking questions to distract their patient from the pain they’re feeling, having to explain a game or talk about setting up a game forces someone to ignore the depression and anxiety.

Once the distraction has set in, then the act of playing the game can help alleviate the emotional distress itself. Kind of like the pain killers given to the distracted patient in the earlier analogy.

Regardless of how it works, it works. I may need a little nudging to get me moving toward having friends over for games, but it definitely makes it easier to work through the depression and anxiety.

People who suffer from depression often times don’t find their normal interests enjoyable. As clinicians, perhaps we should be trying to find ways to make those interests more palatable during a depressive episode. Because often times a person’s interests can help them feel better, if they can get past the feelings of stagnation and disinterest.

Perhaps even playing games with a client during a session might help them pull out of a funk.

So the next time your client (or you, yourself) are feeling down…if gaming is usually something they find enjoyable, pull out a copy of a game they like and see if it helps. It can’t hurt…and it’ll probably be fun.

I bet it’ll make a difference, too.

Sleepless in San Francisco: Extra-Life 2013!

November 7, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

So….Extra-Life. I’m still not sure what to tell you about it, other than the fact that it was one of the most awesome experiences of my life. A bunch of my friends crammed into the apartment and played games. For 25 hours.

That’s easy, you say. I do that all the time, you say. Well…I said the same thing, and it’s not as easy as it sounds

(Image via Extra-Life.org)

I’ve been recovering all week. I’m still recovering. I cannot tell you what time it is for the life of me. This marathon is hard, exhausting, mind shattering…and totally worth it. You get to do something you love, and help children who really need it all at the same time.

When you think about people who run, walk, or bike, marathons, they all train and prepare before hand. If gamers were smart, they would too!

Ok, maybe gamers are smart and I just wasn’t….or I and half of my team weren’t. Going to bed at 12:30am when you have to be up at 8 and stay up for 25 hours…who would have thought that was a bad idea?

In any case. We got little sleep, woke up, stayed up all day and night, and had a blast. We a little ADHD with our games…with 6 of us in the apartment and only so much bandwidth and so many computers, we had to switch around and be creative.

Some of the video games on our playlist were: Arkham Origins (of course), World of Warcraft, Borderlands 2, Arkham City, Saints Row 4, Star Wars Kinect, Halo 4, and Castle Crashers. I was even convinced by a friend to buy Diablo 3 (that did not take much convincing at all).

We also threw in some board and card games such as Legendary (the Marvel version), Seven Dragons, Fluxx, and Betrayal at the House on the Hill (pictured above).

The board games were helpful to get us talking and interacting, which provided some chance to wake up. The Kinect was also helpful at waking us up, and also provided a chance to get moving.

My roommate also streamed the entire thing live, so everyone and anyone could have a chance to see us acting crazy. At around 2 in the morning, this happened:

We lost our minds. At one point, one of my teammates said she was Geordi Picard. We also created a Captain Dragon song, sung to the tune of Captain Planet. We were silly, and loopy, and it was the most fun I’ve had in a while.

Then around…4 or 5am, we really started to crash. While playing Castle Crashers, I kept button mashing and it started to lull me to sleep. I couldn’t focus on which character on the screen was mine. My teammate literally started to nod off sitting up with the controller in her hand. Her character just kept running into the right hand wall until we woke her up.

She still had a better score than I did.

Once it was over, we all crashed and slept for half of the day…and then had a full night’s sleep that night. And yet…I don’t think any of us have caught up on sleep. I probably never will.

I still say it’s worth it. We helped a lot of kids, had a lot of fun, and created a lot of memories.

My team of 7 (6 here in California, and 1 in New York) weren’t very organized, but we raised nearly $2,000 for Children’s Hospital Oakland.

At the end of the 25 hours, Children’s Oakland won an extra $60,000 from the Diablo 3 challenge for having raised the most money. I think it’s at $333,000 now.

(Image via Extra-Life.org)

The total at the end of the marathon for all of Extra-Life was $3.4 million dollars. That’s up to $3.8 million today, with a make up day this Saturday for all those who missed some time…

Or for those who want to sign up now and do the whole thing.

All I know is…I did my 25 hours, helped some kids, played some games…and now it’s time to start getting ready for next year. Registration starts in February.

You know you want to join me.

GaymerX: Where Games Go to Become Fabulous

October 3, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

This week, GaymerX announced the launch of GaymerX2, their second annual event. GaymerX is an LGBT focused gaming convention that emphasizes inclusivity in the gaming community. Their motto is, “Everyone Games.”

(Image via GaymerConnect)

They lived up to their motto this year at their inaugural event in August. All types of people were there to play games, talk about games, have their voices heard and….party. There were people of all genders, sexual orientations (it’s for straight people too!), and cultures in attendance. GaymerX was the first convention of it’s kind, and all I can say is: It’s about time.

For their first year, they did an amazing job of holding things together. The venue (the Kabuki Hotel in San Francisco’s Japantown), was rather small. Which can be expected, since they expected a much smaller number of people to attend. Apparently, the need for a safe space to be yourself (as a gamer, and as a member of the LGBT community) was greater than expected.

Even with the small venue and a few technical difficulties here and there, the convention was definitely a success (and a triumph, as Ellen McLain, the voice of GLaDOS in the Portal games, sang at the closing of the con). There were no complaints from the hotel, and security only reported one minor incident over the course of the event. This was no surprise for those who spent time talking to the exhibitors, panelists, attendees and staff. Everyone was polite, happy, helpful, and excited to be there; the convention oozed positivity. So much so that one man proposed to his boyfriend with the help of Ellen McLain singing in the voice of GLaDOS.

https://fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net/safe_image.php?d=AQD3iWFSij3yLoDm&url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FywqmIS-CEDM%2Fmaxresdefault.jpg%3Ffeature%3Dog&jq=100

(Image via Have a Gay Day)

Next year, the event will be even better. It will be held July 11-13 at the Intercontinental San Francisco. They’ve upgraded from 2 days to 3, and the hotel is much larger with more room for games, panels, and exhibitors. Oh, and for the drinking and the concert. Can’t forget those!

http://www.gaymerconnect.com/assets/welcome/gx2-banner-dbb1d6c8cb8d00401acbcc2ecb3b53f0.png

(Image via GaymerConnect)

Another upgrade provided for next year will be that each attendee’s badge will include their preferred gender pronoun on it. This year, many people brought up the fact that this was the first time they were at a con where people asked them what their preferred pronouns were. Next year, it’ll be right on the badge.

Why is this important? In the mainstream world, we all are fit into these male and female boxes. In reality, it sometimes doesn’t work that way. Even in the LGBT community, we forget that sometimes, people don’t fit into those boxes. We see someone who looks female and assume they are, but when you ask them…they may go by male pronouns or something you’ve never even heard of. By giving others the choice to identify the way they’d like to, it helps create a safe space where people are empowered to be who they are.

That brings me to why I’m even talking about this. People who are different from the norm, whether it be that they’re gay, black, Latino, handicapped, female, or mentally ill (that list is not all inclusive, there are many more), need to feel represented and accepted in society. I cannot stress how important it is for them to have a safe space to be who they are and enjoy what they love.

(Image via Kegan Marling)

Safe spaces provide us the capacity to be authentic and thrive. It’s important in the therapeutic process, as well as in life. It is a place to feel normal, to connect with others, and to heal. This is exactly what GaymerX does.

The other thing that makes a convention like this so empowering is the ability to find others who you can relate to. It creates a community where you can feel normal and feel like you’re not weird. GaymerX created GaymerConnect for that reason, before the first con even started. It’s an online community to talk to others about games and other geeky things, as well as to find those who like the same games as you so you can play together! You can even level up and build your stats. It’s awesome.

GaymerX is also where I found out about Extra-Life, which is only a month away! (I will always make a shameless plug to help the kids, donations are always welcome!)

Basically, GaymerX was awesome, and I was blown away at how amazing the people were, and the vibe I got from the convention. Next year looks to be even better, and I can’t wait. Who knows, maybe even we can get a mental health panel going?

Oh, and remember the couple who got engaged this year? Yeah…they’re getting married at GaymerX2, and everyone’s invited!

(Image via GaymerConnect on Facebook)

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