adolescence Archives - Therapeutic Code

Another week, another discussion around the spiderweb of geekiness that has come up in my classes.

This semester I’m taking Group Psychotherapy, and our first assignment was to come up with what we consider our cultural identity and have it ready for a group discussion in class. Now, I know the go to for most people is their ethnic culture. I also know (as someone brought up in class) that most white people tend to identify with some other group (religions, hobbies, interests, professions, etc.) rather than an ethnic group as a culture. I was upset when my classmate pointed this fact out, because to me it implies that all of those other things that people identify aren’t a “real” culture and that the only “real” culture is ethnicity.

(Image via University of Texas)

On the other hand, I completely fell into the stereotype she just described. Given the assignment to identify and discuss my culture, I scrambled to pull together anything I could that would sound acceptable. Do I talk about my family being German? No…aside from a few traditions handed down, I don’t really identify as German, and my family is from all over Europe anyway. What the hell was I going to do?

I could out myself in class and talk about gay culture…What about geek culture? I could talk about that. But how is that going to look up against my classmates discussing the struggles of African Americans, or Latin cultures and their pulling together as families in tough times? Would it be disrespectful?

I’ll be honest, up until it was my turn to talk, I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to say. Luckily, one of my classmates brought up Anime as a culture, and I decided to just go with it.

(Image via Muling)

I brought up geek culture and what that means to me. That it means being who I am, enjoying what I do, and loving what I love, regardless of what people may think.

As far as I can tell, there were no negative reactions to what I was saying. My professor smiled genuinely when I mentioned Therapeutic Code and the geek therapy movement. The classmates who spoke up seemed interested and asked questions. One classmate made a comment that made me think, though.

She asked me if I identify with adolescent culture because I identify so much with video games, comic books, cartoons, young adult movies, etc. In the moment, I kind of laughed and said that I guess I never really grew out of my adolescence. Now that I think about it, I wish I had told her no.

Just because someone likes geeky things, or things that teenagers typically like, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t an adult and identify with “adult” culture as well. (What the heck is adult culture anyway?)

So I like to play Pokemon and watch Twilight and Hunger Games in my spare time. I also work 40 hours a week, pay my rent, take my car to the shop, make my own doctor’s appointments, and hold down a household with my fiance. I’m 30 years old, I’m getting married next year, and I’m on my way to a solid career. So what if I share the same dress, slang, and interests as a 15 year old boy?

(Image via Fanpop)

I don’t mean it in an argumentative way. I’m not upset at my classmate for making assumptions. I’m more upset at myself for not using her question as a way of showing my classmates a different point of view.

The jocks and drama kids from high school grow up to be athletes and actors. Sometimes they end up as professionals, sometimes they pursue it as a full time hobby. We never ask them if they still identify with adolescent culture or if they haven’t grown up. We worship them for their talents. Yet the geeks of high school are on the bottom of the totem pole throughout life.

If we can change how people see geeky hobbies, we can help geeks everywhere feel more confident and comfortable with themselves. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but it’s important for geeks to have a safe space to be themselves and let loose about what they love. It’s especially important when they’re in the room with their therapist.

Which is why I wish I had said something in class with a room full of future clinicians. They are the future of therapy, and I hope that if the topic comes up again I can bring attention to this concept.

I do have to say that my professor made a good point at the end of my turn speaking. She said that my young clients probably connect with me well, not necessarily because of my cultural identification, but because I bring myself to the session. I am me, and I don’t care who knows.

In a way, she said part of what I wish I had said.

That it is important to be who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin.

(Image via TOTAL Nigeria)

As I listened to my professor lecture on human development, I had flashes back to different panels and discussions I’d heard at conventions. Everything seemed to click, and I had an “aha!” moment.

She was lecturing on Erikson’s stages of development, and came to the stage of Identity vs. Role Confusion. Essentially, during adolescence we all come to a place where we are figuring out who we are and how we fit into the world. If we don’t figure it out, or at least have some grasp on who we want to become, role confusion (also called an identity crisis) can arise and cause problems throughout life (if they are never resolved).

So how do I get from listening to teenage issues to thinking about the conventions I went to?

What my professor said that really got my mind going was that role confusion can happen without anything being wrong with the individual. Finding your identity also has to do with how you fit into society and who society expects you to be. So if you don’t find yourself represented in society somehow, you have a hard time figuring out how you fit into the world and then end up with an identity crisis on your hands!

That brought me back to the Gays in Comics panel at San Diego Comic Con. During the panel, many of the panelists mentioned that gays (and people of color…and women…) were underrepresented in comics. That they felt like there was no one they could look up to in comic books and say “They’re like me!”

During the Q&A session, a guy came up and said that he was new to comics, and said that he thought that there was more diversity in comics today. The panelists’ responses? “We can tell you’re new to comics!” It was lighthearted though, and they admitted things were changing, but that they needed to continue to change.

(Image via Comics Beat)

After that panel, I remember thinking “Okay, I get that there aren’t enough gay/women/people of color in comics (or in media in general), but to say that you can’t see yourself in any of the characters out there is a bit much.” I find ways to relate to characters I love whether they are male or female, gay or straight, young or old, blond or redhead, good or evil. There is something to relate to in their experience of the world. This being said, it does make it easier to relate to a character when they look like you or have a similar culture or background as you. It also feels good to feel acknowledged and seen.

Then I remembered how at GaymerX, everyone was talking about how safe and inclusive it felt to be in a hotel conference area filled with people like them who had the same interests. One of the big topics was how the video game industry tends to ignore gays and focus on their “straight white male” demographic. It came up at multiple panels, and the discussion usually led to how women are also ignored, or if they are represented, they are overly sexualized to appeal to men. Women are rarely given a lead role, and queer characters are even more rarely written into games at all.

While I was browsing the interwebs, I found out that Assassin’s Creed is launching a new game for consoles with a woman of color as the lead role! This is amazing. From what I’ve read, originally it was just going to be a side piece of DLC (downloadable content), but the audience spoke and now they are creating a full game coming out next year.

(Image via Giant Bomb)

When the people (and their wallets) speak, the companies will listen.

Bringing it all back to the development concept: I wonder, if any given minority were represented more in comics, games and other media (much of which adolescents are glued to) would they be less likely to have issues later on in life? Would it give them more confidence in who they are? Make them feel more secure and valued? Help them find their role in society? It’s something to consider.

Something else to consider is an important topic brought up at both conventions. Things have been moving forward. It is exciting that there is a female lead (who is also bi-racial and not scantily clad!) in Assassin’s Creed. It’s exciting that Assassin’s Creed III had a Native American lead. It’s exciting that Batwoman (who is a lesbian) has her own comic book. It’s exciting that Kevin Keller (who is gay) went into the military and got married. While all these things are true, they’re very rare (and it took me a while to think of a few of them).

(Image via Geek Style Guide)

While these things are exciting, they shouldn’t be. In geek culture, a culture that traditionally has been looked down on by others in society, these milestones should just be another day in the life. When things like this aren’t exciting anymore, that’s when we know things have changed.

Media is often how we explore societal themes in the world around us. When there is a diverse population represented across a variety of roles, it will be much easier for us to identify with the characters in our media of choice. When it’s easier for people to identify with a greater diversity of roles in society as represented in media, it’s easier for to understand how society views us in relation to how we view ourselves. Identity crisis averted!

(Being a teenager will probably still suck…just less so!)

Geeks: Adolescents Trapped in Adult Bodies?

Countdown to Identity Crisis