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Thor as Therapy, Who Would’ve thought? (Spoiler free)

November 11, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Over the weekend, I had the chance to see Thor: The Dark World (yeah, me and a few million other people). The movie was pretty awesome, but what made the experience even more powerful for me was the opportunity I had to see it with one of my young clients.

(image via sciencefiction.com)

I’m a behavior specialist, so I work with some intense youth. The young man I took with me to see the movie has a tough exterior to those who don’t really know him, but he’s a big teddy bear.

He’s 15, hard headed, listens to a lot of hardcore hip-hop, swears like a sailor, quick to anger, and has a hard time controlling himself. He’s also a huge geek, and asks me what the coolest thing I saw was every time I come back from a convention.

Comics, video games and fantasy are this kid’s motivation. They’re what gets him going in the morning. He has done nothing but talk about wanting to see Thor with me for months.

Being a behavior specialist, I had to make him earn a trip to the movies with me. Lately he’s been having a problem with being disrespectful when an adult asks him to do something or tells him something he doesn’t want to hear. 3 or 4 times a day he curses someone out.

So I made a behavior contract with him. If he could make it 5 out of 7 days without being disrespectful, we would go to the movie. If he could make it 5 days straight, we would go opening weekend.

This kid surprised everyone and made it in the first 5 days.

(image via screencrush)

So I got up and went to work on a 3 day weekend, to see a movie that I wanted to see, but wasn’t on my priority list. And I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.

Because I’m not the biggest Thor fan, I had no idea what was going on other than what I learned from the first Thor and Avengers movies. But that didn’t matter. I got excited because he was excited.

Watching him clap out of excitement and sit on the edge of his seat was worth getting up early on my day off. He kept asking me questions about who certain people were…and I had no idea, but we later figured it out together.

I guess my main point is, that he felt comfortable being himself with me. This is a kid that acts tough and fights other kids…and he was able to let down his guard to be a kid in a superhero movie.

Can we as clinicians provide anything more important to a client than to allow them to let down their guard and be themselves? I don’t think so.

This boy’s therapists don’t really get the superhero thing, but I do. Maybe that’s why he likes talking to me. Having that connection and not feeling judged can be major, especially for an adolescent trying to figure out his place in the world.

On the drive to the movie, he just wanted to listen to music loudly and not talk. On the way home…he turned my stereo down and would not shut up! He kept going on and on about different plot points. How I called them, or how he and I were both totally surprised by certain events.

(image via Hypable)

We were also able to use the movie to talk about his feelings about what happened. It was a safe space (because it was about Thor and Loki and Odin, not him) to explore how he felt about betrayal, honor, family, and values. I doubt he realized that we were talking about his values…but it was an important conversation all the same, and it allowed him to open up.

Since I was an adult, he expected me to know everything about the world and the characters, which I didn’t. So as I said earlier, we worked together to figure things out. This gave him an experience of an adult being real, honest, and imperfect with him. And also the experience of those things being okay.

I think that the most important take away from my therapeutic Thor experience (other than the plastic Thor figurine he gave me from his cup) would be that a connection can be made, even if the interests are not the same.

Thor is probably my least favorite of the Avengers. But I really wanted to see this movie with this boy because it was something that made him happy. I was able to open up my mind to new things and see things through his eyes. He felt seen. He felt that he had made a connection. And he felt that someone else (an adult, nonetheless) understood why he was passionate about this character.

I can’t think of a better way to spend my weekend.

Sleepless in San Francisco: Extra-Life 2013!

November 7, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

So….Extra-Life. I’m still not sure what to tell you about it, other than the fact that it was one of the most awesome experiences of my life. A bunch of my friends crammed into the apartment and played games. For 25 hours.

That’s easy, you say. I do that all the time, you say. Well…I said the same thing, and it’s not as easy as it sounds

(Image via Extra-Life.org)

I’ve been recovering all week. I’m still recovering. I cannot tell you what time it is for the life of me. This marathon is hard, exhausting, mind shattering…and totally worth it. You get to do something you love, and help children who really need it all at the same time.

When you think about people who run, walk, or bike, marathons, they all train and prepare before hand. If gamers were smart, they would too!

Ok, maybe gamers are smart and I just wasn’t….or I and half of my team weren’t. Going to bed at 12:30am when you have to be up at 8 and stay up for 25 hours…who would have thought that was a bad idea?

In any case. We got little sleep, woke up, stayed up all day and night, and had a blast. We a little ADHD with our games…with 6 of us in the apartment and only so much bandwidth and so many computers, we had to switch around and be creative.

Some of the video games on our playlist were: Arkham Origins (of course), World of Warcraft, Borderlands 2, Arkham City, Saints Row 4, Star Wars Kinect, Halo 4, and Castle Crashers. I was even convinced by a friend to buy Diablo 3 (that did not take much convincing at all).

We also threw in some board and card games such as Legendary (the Marvel version), Seven Dragons, Fluxx, and Betrayal at the House on the Hill (pictured above).

The board games were helpful to get us talking and interacting, which provided some chance to wake up. The Kinect was also helpful at waking us up, and also provided a chance to get moving.

My roommate also streamed the entire thing live, so everyone and anyone could have a chance to see us acting crazy. At around 2 in the morning, this happened:

We lost our minds. At one point, one of my teammates said she was Geordi Picard. We also created a Captain Dragon song, sung to the tune of Captain Planet. We were silly, and loopy, and it was the most fun I’ve had in a while.

Then around…4 or 5am, we really started to crash. While playing Castle Crashers, I kept button mashing and it started to lull me to sleep. I couldn’t focus on which character on the screen was mine. My teammate literally started to nod off sitting up with the controller in her hand. Her character just kept running into the right hand wall until we woke her up.

She still had a better score than I did.

Once it was over, we all crashed and slept for half of the day…and then had a full night’s sleep that night. And yet…I don’t think any of us have caught up on sleep. I probably never will.

I still say it’s worth it. We helped a lot of kids, had a lot of fun, and created a lot of memories.

My team of 7 (6 here in California, and 1 in New York) weren’t very organized, but we raised nearly $2,000 for Children’s Hospital Oakland.

At the end of the 25 hours, Children’s Oakland won an extra $60,000 from the Diablo 3 challenge for having raised the most money. I think it’s at $333,000 now.

(Image via Extra-Life.org)

The total at the end of the marathon for all of Extra-Life was $3.4 million dollars. That’s up to $3.8 million today, with a make up day this Saturday for all those who missed some time…

Or for those who want to sign up now and do the whole thing.

All I know is…I did my 25 hours, helped some kids, played some games…and now it’s time to start getting ready for next year. Registration starts in February.

You know you want to join me.

Extra-Life…Extra Long

November 4, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Yesterday was Extra-Life, the 25 hour gaming marathon to benefit Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. I participated…and I’m still feeling the effects.

Don’t get me wrong, it was amazing! I loved doing it, and I’ll do it again next year. But…I need some time to sleep. Writing a blog when you’re exhausted is not the smartest idea. We could end up with something like:

First, I played Batman Arkham Origins….pink banana…my back hurts…one fish, blue fish….dragon, dragon, dragon fire. We don’t want that.

So as soon as I’m all rested up, I’ll start writing about my 25 hour gaming adventure. Check it out Thursday. It’ll be a doozy.

Spoiler alert! My team raised just shy of $2,000! Rare Candy, you rock. I’m so proud of you guys.

Time to dream of batarangs and Deckard Cain.

Something Terrible is Anything But

October 31, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

There are so many things I could say about “Something Terrible” by Dean Trippe, but I honestly have no idea where to start.

I suppose I can start with how I found out about this intensely moving comic. While I was at NYCC, I passed a booth that had a print with just about every comic book character (or geeky character, for that matter). The art was amazing, I took some time to study it and then moved on. It was called “You’ll Be Safe Here”.

I got lost in trying to find my favorite characters, and you can probably see why.

Fast forward to the past week or so. I’ve seen Dean Trippe’s name come up a billion times in the geek therapy world on my twitter feed, so I decide to check him out. And I see the same print I saw at NYCC. I had no idea that it was part of a larger story. I just thought that it was a stand alone illustration.

The result of that search ended up in me spending one of the most well spent dollars (his entire comic is only 99 cents) I have ever spent. I would have spent more!

The art is beautifully simple. It is so crisp and simple, which really draws you into the story. The storytelling is brilliant. Trippe’s ability to convey so much emotion with so few words is an accomplishment to be proud of. I can barely tell such an emotionally loaded story coherently using words.

Maybe that’s part of the reason why it works. The words don’t get in the way.

By now (or maybe a bunch of paragraphs ago), you’re probably wondering what the story is about. Trippe tells his life story in just a few panels, but the message is strong. Essentially, the story is about his having been molested as a child, and how Batman saved his life.

Batman, through watching the movies and reading the comics, became Trippe’s personal hero. Trippe also became Batman. He became a trauma survivor who was able to do something with his life.

Unfortunately, Trippe grew up believing that because he was abused, there was something terrible inside of him. That he would someday become an abuser himself. I can’t imagine living through life constantly worrying about harming a child. Especially my own.

In the end, Batman helps him see the truth about himself, and he is able to build a positive relationship with his son.

Something Terrible is the epitome of geek therapy. I don’t want to spoil anything, so I will keep it as vague as possible. Trippe was able to heal a major wound due to superheroes and comics. It helped him to heal and become the man he is. It helped him to become the incredible cartoonist he is.

In the process of writing the comic, he was able to change his narrative. He re-wrote his story to help him feel better about what happened to him. Trippe did something on his own that many people do in therapy, with or without the comics.

Dean Trippe is a brave man to put his story out for all the world to see. His story shows the power that one childhood (or lifelong) passion can have, and the healing properties it can possess.

I’m sure that resonates with some, if not all, of us with a geeky obsession.

If you’d like to buy Something Terrible, you can do so here! (And you should buy it. You won’t regret it!)

QGCon: Where Academia, Games, and Queerness Converge

October 28, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Convention season is just about over! But apparently, conference season is in full swing. This weekend I had the opportunity to attend QGCon, a queerness and games conference at UC Berkeley.

(Image via QGCon)

The event was free to the public and covered topics such as masculinity, sexuality, game design, GaymerX, and the future of queerness and games. They even had a pizza party and session of outdoor games!

I was only able to make it to part of the conference, and I wish I had been able to see more of it. The two speakers I saw were very different and while their topics were related, the things I took away from each were very different.

Queer Shame, Gamer Shame

The first talk I went to was entitled “Thwarted Enjoyments: Queering Gamer Shame” by Samantha Allen. While heavily academic in nature (as was the entire conference), Allen made her talk very relatable and she knew when to tone down the jargon. She even went so far as to point out that “affect” is just another way of saying emotion that academics and clinicians use to feel smart. I laughed (as did many others in the room) because it’s true.

Allen’s talk was centered around shame. I spent my summer studying a model of therapy by Dan Allender, whose practice mainly focuses on the treatment of sexual abuse survivors. His view of shame is that is the result of being “seen” by others (whether they be imagined or real) or by yourself in your worst moments. Shame comes from embarrassment at having something done to you that you do not wish to have happened, or that is unspeakable. Shame is wanting to hide.

The shame that Allen spoke of in her talk, based on another theory by another scholar (whose name I cannot for the life of me remember), is very different. In this theory, shame is the result of wanting to continue to do something after you have been reprimanded, denied, or blocked from doing so.

In this sense, queerness and gaming (or geekiness in general) are very similar. Shame comes from being told that being queer is not okay, or that gaming is a waste of time, or counterproductive. Both queers and geeks feel the need to hide their pursuits then, and feel ashamed to admit who they are.

The talk then moved on to how the queer world and gaming world intersect. Allen described a trans woman who used video games to explore her identity. Her World of Warcraft characters allowed her to exist in a world as a woman. She was able to use that character to safely explore who she was and learn how to become a strong woman who can stand up for herself.

When queer youth (and adults) are blocked from being who they are in the real world, they turn to games to create their own world to explore. Queer people are great at using their shame and changing it into enjoyable experiences in order to survive.

After hearing that, I thought about what would happen if a queer youth came into therapy and their therapist tell them that they are playing “too many” video games. In therapy, you’re supposed to be able to be yourself. A good therapist would not make their client feel judged for being queer…but gaming is not part of the typical cultural competency. How would it feel to be told by your family that you’re no good because you’re gay, then have your therapist scold you for the thing you use to survive?

Probably not so great. Clinicians need to learn to be sensitive and understanding about more than just race, religion, and gender.

Another thing that Allen brought up was the fact that queer gamers usually less effected by gamer shame than straight gamers are. They’ve already gone through queer shame, so what does a little gamer shame matter? Typically, gamers may be looked down upon, but they are usually higher up in the food chain than queer people are. The youth described in my earlier scenario might survive some gamer shame…or could be devastated by their therapist shutting them down without realizing it.

The biggest take away Allen listed for her talk is that straight gamers who feel gamer shame have experienced a small piece of what it is like to be queer. This in no way means that gamers know exactly what it is like to have society oppress them and take away their rights. It just means that gamers have the internal experience of shame for doing something that they love and being who they are.

Video Games = Candy?

The second talk I was able to attend was a keynote by Kathryn Bond Stockton entitled “If Queer Children Were a Video Game”. This talk was very different from the first one I listened to.

Stockton’s presence was so exuberant that it filled the room. She spoke well, and I could tell that she likes slam poetry and using humor to drive in a point. The problem for me was, she was hard to follow.

Now, I’m sure she had plenty of good points to make, but her use of gigantic words (many of which I had never heard) and the fact that her topics jumped all over the place made it seriously hard to pick out the salient ideas. (There I go using big words).

It mainly proved to me that I am not that kind of academic. This is why I decided to be a practitioner; to stay away from having to write papers with words that no one with less than a Master’s degree can understand. It’s also why I want to work with adolescents…you have to put concepts into words they can understand. Things are much simpler with them.

In any case, Stockton did have some good points, that I was able to pay attention to. Unfortunately the ideas went by so quickly that I couldn’t take notes to tell report on them…other than video games are like candy.

We want them so much that we beg and plead with our parents for them. At times we overindulge in them. We play them for pleasure until the point of pain (one of her big words jouissance). She didn’t outright say this but they are good for us in moderation, and can cause problems if used too often.

Stockton is not a gamer, and most of her research and writings are on queer theory and LGBT issues. I wish I would have been able to follow better (I was also starving…that might have had something to do with it), or pick her brain about some ideas from an outside perspective.

So that was what I picked up from the conference. It was exciting to me that a conference like this was being held. Topics like video games are rarely deemed worthy of being spoken of in an academic setting.

It’s important to have discussions like this and I hope to see more conferences that cover geek culture in the future.

….Even though the jargon might go over my head.

NYCC – A Mental Health Professional’s Take (Part 2)

October 24, 2013 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Time to recap some of the awesome groups I saw making a difference at NYCC!

GLSEN/Antibullying Coalition

I knew that the Antibullying Coalition would have a space at NYCC, but I was excited to see GLSEN making a presence. Having a space for youth to talk to professionals (and their peers) about being bullied and resources they can turn to is definitely new to the convention world.

With the rise of bullying, and the added difficulties of cyber bullying, this topic is becoming more and more prevalent. I’m surprised that it hasn’t been seen as a bigger issue in this population yet, but I’ glad it’s receiving attention now.

While GLSEN and NOH8 were involved in the booth, and had a strong presence, the emphasis was not necessarily on LGBT youth, but on youth and bullying in general. The goal was to provide safe spaces for kids who are having a hard time to find help. While the open seating area provided to give them that space was empty (and looked like a ghost town) many of the times I walked by, it was also full of youth much of the time. Hopefully with time the word will get out that this is something provided at conventions and it will be more busy.

(Although…it would be better if we didn’t need it. Hmm…let me rephrase.)

Hopefully it will be more busy to get the word out until a time where it is something that is no longer needed.

Brave Girls Alliance

At the Antibullying Coalition booth was a group called the Brave Girls Alliance. Their goal is to bring attention to the fact that girls need appropriate, relatable role models in media.

They have brought a campaign to Times Square in which they have people tweet #BraveGirlsWant. Those tweets are up on a screen in Times Square for all to see and to promote what brave girls really want.

At NYCC, they went old school and had people who stopped by the booth put their tweets on a sticky note, which they would later tweet to the screen at Times Square.

Empowering young girls in a community where girls are mis/underrepresented is a wonderful idea. The fact that it is in such a populated space like Times Square makes it even better. So many people will see that girls need good role models, they are strong, and that they can do the same things boys can.

#BraveGirlsWant a good superhero movie with a standalone female lead! (Elektra doesn’t count,)

Geeks OUT

What would a convention be without a some scantily clad cosplayers?

The Mario in the photo was there representing Geeks OUT, and organization promoting LGBT equality in geek media. They had information about their dance party, LGBT comic creators, and also about their Skip Ender’s Game movement.

They’re essentially asking people to not pay to go see Ender’s Game when it comes out in theaters. Many cities (with Geeks OUT groups) are holding parties to give people somewhere to go other than the Ender’s Game movie. Another option they suggested were to buy a ticket to another movie, and then go watch Ender’s game.

The basic idea is to not give any money to movie because it will go to Orson Scott Card, who has previously given a lot of money to anti-gay hate groups. The fear is that giving money to Card will then give him more money to give to these anti-LGBT groups.

These guys were sweet and fabulous, and I love running into them whenever I’m at a convention!

Nerd Lounge

The Nerd Machine hosted a booth called the Nerd Lounge where you could go and charge your phone. (Brilliant, right? Captive audience!) While you were charging your phone, someone usually came by to ask you to participate in their photo booth.

The idea here was that you let the take your photo (which was free) and for every photo taken, Intel would donate $1 to Operation Smile. Operation Smile provides free surgeries for children to repair cleft lips and cleft palates.

With the photos being no cost to my fiance and I, there was no downside. The girl at the booth convinced us to take 5 photos. So in less than 5 minutes, we were able to give $5 (at no cost to us) to a good cause, and have some decent (and goofy) pictures of us together.

(I’m on the left)

Family Room

An awesome (and adorable) part of the convention was the Family Room. This was a space for parents to take their children and be free from the less family friendly aspects of a large convention.

Kid friendly activities such as coloring and other arts and crafts were provided, along with signings from all ages comic artists. The room was filled with laughter as children played and watched a Batman stage production put on by community college students.

Comics may not be just for kids, but those of us in the geek community tend to forget that there are still kids in the comics world. A safe haven from profanity, skimpy costumes, and being trampled by grown ups must be a welcome sight for children and parents alike.

The brilliance of it was that it was during the entire convention, rather than just on kids day (Sunday). I wish the signage telling people where it was had been better, and that it was maybe somewhat larger. I still think it was a success and that other conventions should take it into consideration.

Who doesn’t like little kids in cosplay? Anything to promote more of that, please!

Geek Therapy!

One of the most exciting parts of the weekend for me was hanging out with these guys!

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From left to right: Josué Cardona, Ali Mattu, Ph.D., Dr. Travis Langley, Steve Kuniak

(Image via @AliMattu)

The geek therapy movement was at NYCC in full force. The booth was full of geeky therapists and psychologists, ready to spread the word of how geek culture is saving the world.

Steve Kuniak was the one who decided to have a booth at the convention, and I think all of us can agree that it was brilliant. Steve brought along his PAX East research study (a current work in progress) as well as information about his planned Gamer Wellness Program.

Josué Cardona of geektherapy.com and the Geek Therapy Podcast was there as well, bringing information to the masses, and constantly rearranging the bookmarks and business cards on the table.

Also making appearances at the booth were myself, Ali Mattu, of Brain Knows Better, and Dr. Travis Langley.

Brain Knows Better is an intriguing science fiction psychology blog. (I’m particularly fond of Mattu’s breakdown of Spock’s psychology, which made me see the character in a whole new light.)

Dr. Langley wrote a book on Batman and Psychology, which he had for sale at the booth, and he was available for signings.

All of the books I have previously mentioned in this blog were there to peruse, along with many more. They even had a research journal available to look at. Anyone and everyone was welcome to come by and listen to the positive change that geek culture can provide

Many educators, therapists, and other helping professionals came by and were excited about a chance to use something they love to connect with the people they serve. It was also great to see parents, children, and big children (like myself) interested in geek therapy.

Many adults said that they wished something like this was around when they were growing up. That maybe they would have had a better experience with therapy. That alone shows that the geek therapy movement is something that is needed.

From what I saw, the booth was a big hit, and I hope it becomes a regular sight at conventions in the future.

NYCC was a blast, and I hope it’s even better next year!