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Therapeutic Code

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Are Kids and Adults So Different?

February 10, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

To my surprise, the geek therapy concepts have made their way into my classes over the past couple of weeks. It’s really exciting, and has started down a path toward other, related ideas. Or maybe it’s more like a spiderweb of ideas. My mind has been a bit all over the place lately.

(Image via SuperHeroHype via CBR)

In any case, the lecture in many of my classes has started me thinking, and I’d like to focus on one of those lectures today. Hopefully later this week I will be able to deliver another tidbit of wisdom from school, if life doesn’t throw me anymore virus or paperwork pile shaped curveballs.

The first geeky reference I’d like to look at came during my Treatment of Children and Adolescents course. Of course that’s where we’d be talking about geeky stuff, right? A lot of what we consider a part of geek culture stems from things we loved in childhood. Games, superheroes, cartoons, action figures, movies, etc. For the most part, these were our relevant interests back then.

When discussing how to gather information when interviewing a child or adolescent, my professor said that one of the best things we can do as clinicians is to make observations about the client’s interests. If a kid is wearing a Batman shirt, ask her about Batman. If they’re wearing a Pokemon backpack, find out about their favorite Pokemon.

The other point he brought up is that sometimes, the best question to ask is “What was the last movie you saw?” Pop culture influences our lives in ways we don’t even notice, and our opinions and beliefs influence the pop culture we consume. My professor’s follow up to the movie question was that the Hunger Games was very big in finding out how his clients felt about certain issues and what their values are.

Maybe someone loves Peeta because he’s a good friend, Gale because he stands up for the people, or Katniss because she would do anything for her family. Maybe they don’t like Haymitch because he’s a drunk, or the people of the Capitol because they’re clueless. Somewhere in there, there is so much material for discussion of what is important to the client. Maybe the actors are just hot, or maybe what the character stands for is the real drive behind the fandom. Whatever the case, discussing favorite characters is also important.

The Hunger Games character alignment chart

(Image via MapleNet)

What my professor was discussing is important in working with youth. I would go further and say that it is important to talk about these things with our clients no matter what the age.

People of all ages consume pop culture, not just those who are under the age of 20. Growing up to develop advanced logic and cognitive skills doesn’t exclude us from enjoying a movie about superheroes, a TV show about time lords, or a book about wizards.

Brand Archetypes via Harry Potter.

(via Pinterest)

I understand that some of the approaches used with adults don’t work with children. Developmentally, they don’t have the skills to think about behavior, feelings, and thought in that way. Children hide their values, issues, motivations, and aspirations because of a developmental inability to express them. Which is exactly why we use play therapy. Those things  come out normally through what children choose to play with, how they choose to play with those things, and what they choose to watch.

Adults do the same thing, and so in some ways, we can use the same approach. Obviously some adults may object to playing with a dollhouse or building blocks, but there are other ways to gain the same types of information.

We can still ask an adult what the last movie they saw was. We can ask them about why they like the movie, who their favorite characters are, and what they didn’t like. Asking someone what the last book they read or what their favorite book is could also be informative. Maybe it was Steve Jobs’ biography, or maybe it was a trashy romance novel, or a detective story. Each of those says different things about the person reading them and what they value.

Even just having interesting decor in the office could prove illuminating. If there are action figures on the shelves, a few posters on the walls, a video game system and a shelf of games, and a wall of books, a lot can be said about what draws the client’s attention. Do they comment on the video games? Do they admire an X-Men poster? Do they scoff at your Star Wars figures? What is said is important, but so is the object of their focus.

No matter what age my client is, I would hope to show interest in what they’re interested in. From asking a kid about their Batman shirt to having an office lined with conversational matter, the leap isn’t so great as it might seem.

People need to know their therapists are interested in them, their lives, and what they enjoy. And their therapists need to realized that knowing about these things can help them form a bigger picture of who their client is and what makes them tick.

As another professor of mine once told me, it’s all grist for the mill.

Little Girls Paint the Super Bowl Pink

February 3, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

I first heard about GoldieBlox last year at NYCC while talking to the women running the Brave Girls Alliance booth. You’ve probably heard of them as well, seeing as they had a very popular (and controversial) ad a while back parodying a Beastie Boys song. They more recently won a free commercial spot which aired during the Super Bowl yesterday.

GoldieBlox Made Super Bowl History With New Ad

(Image via PopSugar)

Watch the full ad on Youtube here.

In a separate video on Youtube the CEO and designer of GoldieBlox, Debbie, stated that she is trying to increase the number of women in the engineering field with her new product. She feels as though the answer is to engage girls at a young age with toys designed with them in mind. The hope is to get them excited about building, science, and math.

Debbie designed the toys keeping in mind that girls are very attracted to reading. She uses storytelling in a book that comes with the set as a gateway to building with the toys.

(Image via Wired)

While I agree that there aren’t enough women in science and engineering, I’m not too convinced that making building toys pink and purple will help attract girls to those fields. In general I take issue with making toys pink and purple to brand them for girls, but I understand that our society has built those stereotypes.

The real concern for me is that there are plenty of toys out there to help kids become interested in the more scientific fields. As a little girl my best friend had an erector set, I had K’nex and we both had LEGOs and Lincoln Logs. Our creations were usually massive and took up all of my bedroom, and sometimes most of the living room. I still play with LEGOs, and love stealing the sets my nephews get for their birthdays in order to build them first.

(Image via Pink Dandy Chatter)

Somewhere along the line, I decided that science and math were not for me. I, like many other women, chose a mostly verbal and social field for my career. I think the key is not necessarily to just engage girls with the toys, but to keep them engaged during whatever period it is that kids begin to play with toys less.

If incorporating the storytelling and reading into the process helps keep girls engaged long enough for it to transfer into more women in science and technology fields, then this would definitely be a victory. Regardless of my feelings on the color of the toys, GoldieBlox is a innovative step in the right direction.

In the end is the bigger early childhood development challenge more about gender stereotypes and aethetics or gender stereotypes around fields of interest like engineering?

Growing Pains: Guild Edition

January 27, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

One of the main reasons that games are fun are because we play them with friends. We get to interact with others in a sometimes silly, usually fantastical way. Whether helping our friends take down a big monster or competing with them to be the best hero around, we laugh, jest, celebrate (and sometimes sulk) with our peers to have a good time.

http://www.blogcdn.com/wow.joystiq.com/media/2013/01/failsquad1lsp11.jpg

(Image via Joystiq)

One way that we can play together with existing friends, or make new friends, is through guilds. Guilds are groups of players in MMOs who work together for advancement and achievements. I’m taking a group psychotherapy class this semester, so you might hear a lot about groups from me in the future, but guilds are something that I have been thinking about for a while now.

There are many different kinds of guilds, but the main two I’d like to focus on are casual guilds and progression guilds. Casual guilds are just that; guilds who take it easy and do what they can, when they can. They usually focus on helping other members level up, or complete specific achievements. Progression guilds, on the other hand, want to be the best of the best. They want a lot of high level, well-geared, competent players in order to beat all the arena competitors, beat all the dungeons and raids quickly, and score the awesome loot. Many of them require you to apply to join, and if you don’t have the right kind of gear or if you don’t deal enough damage, you don’t make the cut.

http://us.media4.battle.net/cms/gallery/BJZP5TZ3GKXR1303425256324.jpg

(Image via Battle.net)

My WoW guild started off as a casual guild, and is now growing and becoming something different. Not quite a progression guild yet, but definitely headed in that direction.

I joined through a friend of mine years ago, and didn’t know anyone else at first. I can be kind of shy, but I made a lot of friends, right off the bat. Everyone was super nice, and very helpful. A few members even became friends of mine outside of the game. I learned a lot about how to play my favorite classes, and general stuff about the game. It was a small, tight knit guild. Anyone could try to run dungeons and raids as long as the game’s mechanics would let them in. If we died all night, we did it together.

The guild started getting bigger, and in the course of that happening, it became more competitive. When we barely had enough people on a Friday night to start a 10 man raid, anyone could go. Then we started getting so big that some people would have to sit out each week. It was handled fairly though. Those who sat out were chosen randomly, and were guaranteed a spot the next week.

http://www.axiomfiles.com/Files/343597/LK25Down.jpg

(Image via Guild Portal)

More players with progression style attitudes also started joining. Some of them were nice….some of them were not. Eventually we had enough people to actually run a 25 man raid! That was awesome, and something we had never dreamed of a few years ago. Only it was obvious that we didn’t have quite the damage or skill to do very well. When it came to the point that some people had to sit out because there were too many….instead of randomly having people sit out, there was minimum damage level to join the raid.

I and a close friend were left out.

It really sucked. My Friday nights were blocked off for raiding. I would turn down plans with friends to play, knowing that I would be social during raid time, and that I could always go out the next night. Not being included in the raid hurt. A lot. My friend and I complained to each other a bit and then I found something else to do.

It stuck with me for a while. I felt like I was no longer part of the group. That I wasn’t cool enough. That I wasn’t good enough for my friends (when in actuality, many of them weren’t my friends).

I had therapy the day of the next raid. And here’s the worst part. It was still bothering me, and I didn’t feel like I could bring it up to my therapist. Now, he never made me feel this way, so I guess it was mostly my own issues. The point is, I still felt uncomfortable saying what was really bothering me and causing me to feel so down and inadequate. Would he understand that these are my friends and that I felt just as left out as if they were friends from school or work? Or would he think that it was silly to let an online group of people make me feel this way? I guess I won’t really know.

http://familystrongcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/confused-teen_small.jpg

(Image via Family Strong Counseling)

I want to be the kind of therapist that people can come to and not worry about wondering if I would understand this kind of situation. That they know they could talk about guild stuff, or Facebook stuff, or Twitter stuff, and that I would get it and be supportive.

I feel as though we need more therapists who can let their clients be them. Many times it’s by not fault of their own that clients think they won’t understand. I’m so judged everywhere else about being a gamer, that I guess I just assumed it was weird for me (as an adult) to talk to him about video games. Maybe it’s time for us as therapists to think of ways to be more explicit about what can be said.

That’s my two cents.

To go back to my guild drama: I was left out of the raid again the second week, and didn’t even bother logging in the next week. The next time I logged in, I had an invite for raid night. My friend had said something to the guild leader and they started doing it the old way with people randomly sitting out. I felt a little better, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth.

I got my friends back, I learned an important lesson about the kind of therapist I want to be, I got to beat up a big ugly Sha, and I got some sweet loot.

(Image via Guild Launch)

What more could I ask for?

Geek at Work

January 23, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Life has gotten in the way, once again. It happens. I have a bunch of topics I’d love to write about, but this week was crazy, and I haven’t had time. I promise to come back next week with something new!

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-AZ2TdQBF-4g/TluakpLsnVI/AAAAAAAANJ0/_J7ZndKTAwk/w506-h380/geek-at-work.jpg

In the meantime, I’d like to follow up on last week’s post on female superheroes with another post on Geek Therapy by Josué Cardona. He asks the female superheroes to please step forward. You can check that out here: http://www.geektherapy.com/3/post/2014/01/will-the-female-superheroes-please-step-forward.html

So, check out the post, check out the site, and check out the podcast. In the meantime, I’ll be catching up on work, reading, papers…and get something written for next week.

Keep geeking out!

Female Superheroes: Not Just for Girls

January 16, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Ever get that feeling like, “Aw man, I should’ve said that! It would have sounded so awesome!” once an argument, interview, or important discussion is over?

Yeah…that happens to me a lot.

Luckily, blogging allows me to go back and expand on ideas that come up during or after the conversation. I can clarify things, or bring up new and exciting things that are related. Since my brain is all over the place most of the time, the opportunity to fine tune what I want to say is much appreciated. A perfect example of this struck me in the past couple of days:

Picture
Can you name more than 3 of these women?

Recently on the Geek Therapy podcast I was part of a discussion about female superheroes. We discussed who they are, what they mean to us, what they mean to society, and what they mean to our work as mental health professionals. While the under representation of women (and other groups) as superheroes is a topic I’ve discussed before, this was the first time I’ve been able to talk about it with others in the mental health field. I’ve heard “there aren’t enough women in comics” and “the men always take the spotlight” comments hundreds of times before. What struck me about the conversation this time was the commentary on what it means for our work with clients.

When Josué Cardona asked me how the role of female superheroes and strong female roles in geek culture impacts my work with youth… I threw out a short answer about working mostly with teenage boys, so it doesn’t matter as much.

That was a huge mistake.

We all know that girls need strong women (fictional or not) to look up to in order to be able to see themselves in those roles. But the truth is, boys need female superheroes just as much as girls do.

Picture
Boys need strong females too!

Boys need to know that women can be strong, intelligent and influential. They need to know that it’s okay for women to be all of those things. That it’s okay for them to be stronger, smarter, and more powerful than men from time to time. They need to be able to picture their mothers in these roles, their sisters in these roles, and their future wives and daughters in these roles.

Many of the teenage boys I work with talk about women as things to be used. They see them as stupid and weak. An object to use for sex, money, drugs, food, laundry, etc. Not all of the boys I work with feel this way, but many of them do. When they see a blockbuster comic book movie in the theaters and the women (even the heroes) need to be saved, they see just some sexy, weak girl who needs a man to take care of the problem. They don’t see their mother, grandmother or sister in front of them.

It is partly for that reason that I believe, more than ever, we need a stand alone movie for a female superhero… now. Something for girls (and boys) to look to when they think of strong women. I think we’re getting close to it, but the studios don’t seem quite there yet. DC is ready for Wonder Woman to be in a movie… but not her own movie. She takes a backseat to Superman/Batman in what everyone has been calling the “Superman vs. Batman movie.”

Wonder Woman is so secondary that her name isn’t even in the working title. The boys I work with have already pegged her as someone who will need to be saved by the “real” heroes (a.k.a. the men). I hope they’re wrong.

Picture
Where is Wonder Woman?

(Image via Nerd Bastards)

There’s also some concerning speculation about possible changes to Wonder Woman’s origin story. If you haven’t heard, the basic concept is that in the movie, Wonder Woman might be descended from ancient Kryptonians. As far as continuity and story goes, it makes sense. The Kryptonians went and explored other planets a long time ago, and they have the technology to create an all female society. These powerful beings came to Earth, and because humans had no other explanation for their existence…they adopted them as gods and mythical icons. (This is a lot like what Marvel has done with the Asgardians being aliens/Norse gods).

The problem with this possible change in origin lies in what it means for her as a stand alone hero. Wonder Woman would no longer have her own history. She would just be another part of Superman’s history. Her powers are supposedly going to be weaker, because she’s been living on Earth for so long. That means she would no longer be a hero who could stand up next to Superman as an equal. She would basically become his sidekick. And we have enough images of women as sidekicks.

For girls everywhere, they would lose an icon of strength and hope. They would now be looking up to a woman who is strong, but not as strong as the men who save the world. They would have no one as their champion to show them what women can be.

And boys would no longer have a place to look to see what their mothers, sisters, daughters and wives can be.

Picture
Is this the Wonder Woman we’ll see? Or someone else?

I’m going to hold out judgment until the movie comes out, because I know there is SO much hype and criticism about everything having to do with it. I can only hope that they portray women’s greatest comic book role model as precisely that.

A role model.

This article was originally posted on the Geek Therapy Blog.

Horror! The Genre That Thrills Us and…Heals Us?

January 13, 2014 · Discuss on the GT Forum

Last week at the Image Expo in San Francisco, everyone was excited about the new books being announced by creators at Image Comics. Some of the creators announcing big titles were Kelly Sue DeConnick, Robert Kirkman, Rick Remender, Ed Brubaker, and Scott Snyder.

imageexpo-logo-a913d

(Image via Image Comics)

With everyone so focused on the new comics for the year, some very insightful comments from the writers may have been overlooked. Comments that shed some light on how a genre that is usually perceived as damaging or dangerous can actually be helpful, to both the writer and the reader.

Throughout the day, Scott Snyder brought up the difficulties of being a horror writer. That in order to scare the hell out of his readers (which he has stated is his goal), he has to write about the things that scare him most. To be a good horror writer, he needs to face his own worst fears every day.

When you think about that, it must be a really difficult job. And it’s definitely not for everyone. Imagine what scares you the most. The one thing that sends shivers down your spine, makes you freeze in terror, or makes you want to run screaming in terror. Then imagine having to think about that thing all the time. Come up with histories for it, different story lines for it, and sometimes the aftermath of it. That has to be an intense life. It would probably drive some people crazy.

Yet Scott Snyder (and many other horror writers) seems like a nice, normal, well adjusted guy. How can that be?

I’ve written before about the healing powers of writing. Being able to change our narrative can heal past wounds, so the next logical step is that thinking about the worst things that could happen to you may help deal with future troubles. This isn’t to say that if you wrote about (and therefore thought about) a character’s entire family dying, that it would desensitize you to the point where you didn’t care if you lost your family tragically.

http://cdn3.whatculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Death-of-The-Family.-467x300.jpg

(Image via What Culture)

But there is something to be said about the level of being able to cope with things. Maybe writing that story about the loss of a family would make you more resilient. The pain would be there, your world might still feel as though it has fallen apart…but maybe the process of writing has made it easier to see the “after” or the “what comes next”. Having pictured what others have gone through might allow a smoother transition to what comes next for you.

During the writer’s panel at Image Expo, Kelly Sue DeConnick discussed the horror genre. She mentioned that she used crime scene photos for inspiration for her writing. Now that she’s had children, she cannot handle looking at any of those photos having to do with children. She also cannot watch horror films, or read horror comics having to do with children. It just hits too close to home.

The interesting thing is, that DeConnick said she could handle writing those types of stories, because she felt in control of what happened. In a sense, when she writes these stories, she gains mastery over her own worst fears, which is something that we try to accomplish in therapy.

A similar phenomenon can happen to us as consumers of horror movies, books, comics, and games (although this was not the case with DeConnick). Obviously, the horror genre is not for everyone. However, for those of us who enjoy having the crap scared out of us, there are some benefits as well.

image

(Image via Business Insider)

By watching, reading, or playing stories that frighten us, we are able to face our own worst fears through a safe medium. We can tell ourselves that “it’s not me, it’s someone else” who is being chased by zombies, tortured in an underground bunker, or bitten by vampires. We can gain a similar mastery over our fears to that of the writer, just by being able to witness these horrible things happening, and experiencing how the characters involved handle them.

Some mediums, such as video games or role-playing games, allow us the power to tackle our fears and defeat the thing that haunts us. All while knowing that we can just turn off the game or walk away at any time.

Whatever the medium, whatever the monster, those of us who enjoy horror can rest easy, knowing that we are training ourselves for whatever comes next.

Or, like me, we can have nightmares and sleep with stuffed animals.

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